Self-congratulation disguised as self-deprecation

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Photo of the infamous blue dress from thehappiestmom.com

An old friend sent me a link to Shopping, showers & self-sacrifice: the lesson of the blue dress, knowing that its message about misguided mommy martyrdom and self-sacrifice would resonate for me. And HOO-DOGGIES, did it ever:

I got home and learned of a Facebook status update that’s been making its way around the mom world:

'I traded eyeliner for dark circles, salon hair cuts for ponytails, designer jeans for sweat pants, long hot baths for lucky if i get a shower, late nights for early morning cartoons, designer purses for diaper bags and I wouldn’t change a thing!! ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ Repost this if you don’t care what you gave up and will continue to give up for your children!"

Fellow moms, I have a problem with this kind of self-congratulation disguised as self-deprecation.

It’s not that I have anything against pony tails or diaper bags. I love pony tails. They’re cute and practical. Ditto diaper bags. I’m also not negating that motherhood is time-consuming and shifts a woman’s priorities (not to mention her budget) in a major way.

It’s just the idea that a pony tail is a sacrifice motherhood demands. That our kids are somehow better off if we live in sweats. The thing is, our kids did not ask us to give up our purses or our daily showers. Going without a bubble bath doesn’t make us better mothers.

You must go read the full post!