How can we share our values and views with my step-kids without insulting their other home?

February 23 |
@offbeatfamilies runs these advice questions as an opportunity for our readers to share personal experiences and anecdotes. Readers are responsible for doing their own research before following any advice given here... or anywhere else on the web, for that matter.
By: OakleyOriginalsCC BY 2.0
I am an offbeat stepmama to two beautiful stepsons with different mothers, ages nine and one-and-a-half. In their other homes, they live relatively healthy, active lives and they are well looked after and cared for in conventional ways. They have conventional toys, are socialized according to gender (with an emphasis on heterosexuality), and are educated about nutrition using common standards.

In our home, we put a little more value on the differences of people instead of conformity, we don't find encouraging heterosexuality to be important, and we are vegan. These are key differences in our outlook on life but we are struggling to find a peaceful way to raise the kids without them feeling like both choices aren't equally as valuable. Both ways are valid ways to think and live.

How do non-custodial offbeat parents teach the children their views without disparaging the other household? – Laurel