My 7 rules for being a responsible stoner parent

March 26 | Guest post by Lisa
By: John MorganCC BY 2.0

"Mama, Mama! Let's play Candyland!"

"Okay, honey! Just give me a moment. I have to use the restroom."

Candyland is so much more fun baked when you're an adult. In fact, marijuana makes a lot of things more bearable and even fun. Pot can make you patient and relaxed. I get it, and so does a sizable portion of society. It's completely understandable to smoke weed even when you're a parent. That being said, there are some rules I chose to follow as a pot-smoking parent.

By: PabloEvansCC BY 2.0

The needs of my children come first

Don't buy weed if your kids are going hungry. Don't run off to smoke a doobie every chance you get then spend an hour or more hiding from your kids so they don't figure out you're stoned. It would probably be smart to have a "backup adult" in case you have a bad high. Get a babysitter, have your partner there sober, or wait until the kids are asleep or at school.

Also, this should be obvious, but don't smoke weed with your kid. If your kid is under 18 definitely don't share a doobie with them. Over 18, well, then you decide… I guess.

Know the local laws

Do you know how much weed can land you in jail? If the laws in your state are strict, you might want to try a legal alternative. If you allow your teenage/adult child to smoke weed in your home, be aware you could end up with legal trouble. The goal: staying out of jail.

Know when to abstain

Are you looking for employment? Are you currently going through a custody case or other legal battle? Then don't be a dummy. Stop smoking pot. Do you have other responsibilities? Are you using marijuana to procrastinate? Are you smoking pot out of a crumpled soda can you found in a pile of trash and debris on your floor/table? Be real with yourself. Either get productive when you toke, or reward yourself with reefer when you complete your project, errands, and chores.

By: Hammerin ManCC BY 2.0

Don't toke and drive

This is another that should be obvious, but isn't always. Just don't do this. In some areas you can actually get arrested for a DUI for simply having any amount of marijuana on you while driving, and DUIs are no joke.

I get my supply from a reliable source

Don't find a dealer on Craigslist, and don't allow toxic people into your life (and/or the lives of your children) just because they can provide the pot or because "Hey, they like to smoke pot, too!"


I don't let "Pot Smoking Parent" become my identity

If you feel like you're smoking too much you might want to consider backing off. If somebody suggests you're smoking too much you may want to consider taking a break from the bong. If people start asking you "Are you high?" every time they see you, marijuana moderation may be called for.

I hide my shit!

Don't leave baggies and pipes laying about. Head shops sell lots of nifty safes you can use to store your stash. Invest in one of them. You don't want your kids to get into your ganja.

I realize my kids will eventually figure out what I'm doing

Do you preemptively talk to your kid about marijuana? Do you let your child silently come to the realization? Do you wait for the day you get called out by your kid after DARE presents a program at their school? Well, that I can't decide for you.

Eventually, whether or not you discuss it, your kid is going to figure out you smoke(d) marijuana. How you plan to discuss it is entirely up to you.