A couple of weeks ago, a guy kissed me all sloppy with his mouth wide open, tried to take my shirt off, and then barfed into my hand, which I promptly wiped on my jeans. As it turns out, that is not the only way my life as a new parent closely resembles my life as a college student.
This is Offbeat Families's archive of babies posts.
When it came to decorating my daughter's bedroom, I knew pink and purple were definitely out! Instead, I opted for "grown-up" prints in fun colors, and there is a bit of a bird motif throughout. My ultra handy husband did all the trim work himself!
It was never going to happen to me like it did with those parents who hit the one-year mark, watch their little baby toddle around and say, "Oh… I want another one!" After a terrible pregnancy that ended in an emergency C-section, I decided I was done for good. Or at the very least a good looooong time. I wrote myself letters throughout the pregnancy to remind myself that YES it was that bad, the same way I kept track of the (still ongoing) night wakings, issues with breastfeeding. Finances have been kept under strict supervision, and baby expenditures can be easily totalled.
We moved into our rental on our first anniversary and when I was in my third trimester of pregnancy with my daughter Logan. I was so excited to get started on her nursery — I knew it was going to be bright and vibrant. I had made some pillow cases for my former Etsy store and paired them with a quilt that was made for my husband and I as a wedding gift.
That's when I began to realize that during the first few months of my son's life, I would not be living out any idealized role of mommy; I was a mad scientist, trying to figure out which baby soothing techniques would make him stop crying: a combination of white noise and bouncing, pretending I was at a wedding and doing The Hustle or taking him outside for some fresh air.
My husband hates lotion. He thinks it's completely disgusting. I can't even get him to wear sunscreen, despite his history of precancerous moles. Although this is worrisome to me, I've always chosen to avoid this battle. Which was fine until we had our baby four months ago.