22

Building a nursery is how I maintain my sanity while trying to conceive

I was tired of feeling like I was letting my partner down. It didn’t matter that I knew he was disappointed in the situation and not with me. I still felt responsible. I didn’t need him to say anything, I needed him to act. So I gave him a responsibility: I asked him to do something for the nursery-to-be. Whatever he wanted. What I was really looking for was reassurance that he thought we’d get there eventually.

15

What did you research while trying to conceive?

My husband and I are planning on trying to conceive in the next three to four months. I originally thought that I was a crazy person for wanting to go ahead and do some planning for care providers and such now, but I am quickly learning that I am not a crazy person (at least not because of that), and that it's quite normal.

What I'd LOVE to know, is what you all did/planned/researched before you conceived — a timeline with to-dos for each month would really help me out!

46

Infertility and a wedding: what if I can't have children?

Having a baby always felt like a given — I'd get married, have a baby and live happily ever after. That's the way it works, right? Six pregnancies and seven miscarriages later (one set of twins) we find ourselves facing the very real possibility that I simply can not carry a child to term. Three months seems to be average, though one pregnancy was lost at five months.

39

If you're struggling to conceive, talking to friends in the same boat may help you cope

I wrote about our struggle on my blog, and the reception was incredible. People shared that they'd been trying, personal struggles of their own, that they'd be thinking of me. No one gave me well-meaning but awful advice. Some people who now have tiny children shared that it took them years of trying to get to that point and they sympathised with my struggle. All up, it has been a positive experience and I'm glad I put myself out there.